Looking again at Tim's notes I am amazed at how I have no memory of this day at all. When I read them it is really obvious to me that no matter how sick a person is, sometimes it is much worse for the loved one who is desperate to do anything they can to help get the sick person well, and how everything is so out of their hands and how helpless they feel.

It reminds me of when my children would get sick, soothing and meds were all you could do, no will or wishing in the world would make them better.  Time and meds are it.  The soothing voice or touch obviously helps though, as evidenced by his gentle caress of me and how I fell asleep as he ran his fingers through my hair.

Thursday June 6^th

8:45 am Thursday

• Slept till 8:45 am woken up in Sonja’s room by cleaners, rough night…

10:30 am Thursday

• Estralla, the head nurse, called the UCI (Intensive Care Unit) and sent me down to see Sonja and the doctor.
• The doctor said she is good and stable, no more bleeding, no sign of complications and wakes easily.
• I'm supposed to come back at 12:30 (it’s 10:30 am now for me) to see her when they will have her awake and they expect her to be out of the ICU this afternoon…  
• Sonja still sedated, on respirator, cold to touch but otherwise looked okay.
• Went to see Nicci and Yolanda this morning who were great.  They were frustrated that I had had a hard time getting information yesterday. 
• Apparently the phone shows that someone has called but does not have a message facility.
• Hopefully someone will come and fix the fridge today.
• Largo café (the largest coffee I can get) comes in a micro cup and is about 2 centimeters deep! Starbucks… where are you when I need you?     

12:30 pm Thursday

• Went to see Sonja in the UCI, she was not coherent and did not seem to recognize me, very disturbing and unsettling.
• Doctor said that was normal for someone coming out of such a long sedated period.
• She seemed to be mostly speaking Spanish, or trying to. 
• She was shivering and going over and over words and trying intensely to communicate something.  I covered her with blankets better and warmed her with my hands (it was not cold in the rooms though)
• She seemed to be worried about her stick, the apartment, the taxis and that the doorbell was ringing, she seemed to want to go to the bathroom and want to climb out of bed.  I got the nurse who got a bed pan but Sonja did not want to know.
• Gradually she seemed to respond my touch and words and repeated my name.
• She said that her back and tummy were not very painful but that her throat and lips were sore and she still seemed to want to go to the bathroom.
• She enjoyed my warm hands, and when I stoked her hair she seemed to settle and went back to a light sleep.
• Decided to get some food and go back in a hour to see how she is doing then.

2 pm Thursday

• Went to see Yolanda, just to chat and try to de-stress.
• She said she would come with me to see Sonja at 3pm

2:52 pm Thursday

• Dr. Clavel came by my (Sonja’s) room and said he had been to see her.
• They would keep her in UCI for another night as she was not fully coherent and needing attention. 
• He said she may get back to normal in a few hours or 1-3 days.  Each patient is different and it is a combination of loss of blood and the drugs.  Age also can make a difference to how quickly the body recovers.
• He felt that her condition was fine though, no sign of bleeding and her organs and brain were all functioning as they should. 
• He would check on her again later tonight and tomorrow around 8 am and would come find me then.

3 pm Thursday

• Went down to see Sonja in ICU with Yolanda and she was much more coherent.
• She knew what was going on and was chatty and somewhat bossy. 
• She was still somewhat intermittently confused though and argumentative at least with me.
• We chatted for an hour with Yolanda, the doctor came and said they she is recovering nicely. 
• She has a tube up her nose into her tummy which she is not happy about but it has to stay there for another day or two.
• She complained that her back was hurting and the doctors gave her some more analgesic, she went to sleep fairly quickly. 
• The doctors said it’s best that she does not try to work too hard to communicate and remember details (which she was doing) rest and relaxation is better for her right now.
• Dr. Clavel said he would check on her tonight and tomorrow am.
• 5 pm as she will be staying in ICU again for tonight, I decided I would go back to the apartment to get some clean clothes and maybe a better night’s sleep.

6pm Thursday

• Checking on Sonja before I go back to the apartment.
• She seemed much more aware and communicative.
• Wanted iPhone and throat lozenges.
• Confused about how much time had passed, what day it was and what room she was in
• Also very confused about what buttons to press and where it was.
• Constantly wanted to rearrange the various cables and was convinced they were broken or disconnected.
• She wanted me to stay in the room overnight, was confused that we were not in the actual hospital room.
• Seemed happy once she had her iPhone and could listen to a story.
• I had mixed feelings about leaving her for the night but as it was UCI and they would not let me be there overnight, I felt it would be better to get a refresh in clothes so I could be with her all the time once they let her back to her room.
• Frank and Joe have been very chatty and stress relieving.
• Left about 7 pm found my way to the Metro and back to the apartment.
• Very easy if you take your time and ask for help. Single tube line, about 45 minutes door to door, bought a 10 trip ticket. 
• Did some laundry, ate and went to bed.

Our home for the month of June: Carrer de Galileu, Barcelona, Spain